Random kissing shouldn't be a seasonal thing
by Bookjunk
Summary: Mistletoe happened in November. Derek was not amused. It is now February and mistletoe is still happening. Derek is beyond not amused. Derek/Stiles Chapter 3: 'So, according to you, when Derek says something like, 'I'm going to rip your throat out with my teeth' that's his demented way of saying 'Hey, I like you.'
1. Set the stage

**Random kissing shouldn't be a seasonal thing**

 **Chapter 1: Set the stage**

'What's this?' Stiles asked as a triumphant Lydia pressed a bunch of sprigs with a red ribbon tied around them into his hand.

'Mistletoe. What do you think? Help me put it up?' she proposed.

'I think that it's November,' Stiles reminded her. She ignored that. She was, in fact, already carrying a chair to the door.

'Christmas is a long way off,' he added. Lydia took exception.

'Showing affection isn't a seasonal thing. Or it shouldn't be, anyway. Spreading joy should be encouraged,' she argued. More like spreading mono, Stiles thought.

'Derek will hate this,' he pointed out instead.

'Does that mean you won't help me?' Lydia inquired. Stiles pictured Derek's reaction and grinned.

'Oh, I'll help you,' he replied. When Derek returned to the apartment with groceries, he found the two of them sitting on his couch, gazing at something over his head. Glancing up, Derek noticed the plant secured above the door.

'What's this doing here?' he interrogated. The 'in my apartment, where joy isn't allowed' was implied, but unmistakable. Stiles let Lydia do the talking.

'It's mistletoe,' she announced, not really answering Derek's question. She sounded cheerful. She also sounded as if she would fight him tooth and nail to keep the mistletoe up there. Derek sized her up and, apparently, decided it would be better to leave it. For now, at least. He'll probably tear it down and ritually burn it once we're gone, Stiles realised.

'It's November,' Derek grumbled, dumping the grocery bag on the kitchen counter before heading out again.

'Random kissing shouldn't be a seasonal thing, Derek!' Stiles boldly called out after him. Derek gave no sign of having heard.


	2. Hit the lights

**Random kissing shouldn't be a seasonal thing**

 **Chapter 2: Hit the lights**

That night Stiles dreamed about making out with Derek. To be fair, he spend most of his nights dreaming about make out sessions with Derek. Now, though, the dreams actually had a plausible starting point for a kiss: the mistletoe.

(***)

To Stiles' surprise and delight, the mistletoe was still there the next day. And the day after that.

'I thought for sure that he'd take it down,' Stiles told Scott when they were out of Derek's freaky werewolf earshot. Stiles did _not_ want to give Derek any ideas.

'Why hasn't he? Why would he allow it to remain there?' Stiles wondered aloud. While he racked his brain for an explanation of the mistletoe's continued presence – plain indifference on Derek's part? – Scott provided a logical answer that was most pleasing.

'I guess there's someone he wants to kiss. I mean, that could be a reason,' Scott suggested. Yeah, Stiles thought. Yeah. Yeah! And maybe that someone was pale and skinny and male. Stranger things had happened. That thought consumed his mind for the rest of the day. That was probably why, later that day, Stiles said a thing to Derek he normally reserved for his dream conversations.

'Why are you so hot?'

'What?' Derek said. Unfortunately, it wasn't a 'What? I didn't hear you.' It was a 'What? I totally heard you and I can't believe you said that. Please repeat so that I can either make fun of you or punch you in the face. Possibly both.'

'Did I say that out loud?' Stiles asked. Derek nodded. Stiles swallowed and started to ramble.

'Uh, well. What I meant to say was: Why is it so hot? I mean, it _is_ hot, right, isn't it? So, you know, I was just asking… why that was,' he lamely finished. Okay, that was bad. First of all, it wasn't hot at all. If anything, it was cold. Secondly, gah.

'That's not what you said, though,' Derek pointed out. He was almost smiling. Not entirely, of course, because he was a sourwolf, but it did seem like he might be on the verge of cracking a tiny, short-lived smile.

'I misspoke. It happens. Get over it. It's not like I just revealed my subconscious desires,' Stiles over explained. He wished that he possessed the ability to know when to shut up. Could really have done without that last, very specific denial, for instance. Like a wolf onto its geeky prey, Derek leaped at the goof.

'You consciously think that I am hot?' he extrapolated. He was smirking now. Yep, Derek was definitely amused. Better than anger, but still, not really the response Stiles had hoped for, if he was honest.

'That's not…' Stiles feebly protested. 'I don't think you're hot! Alright, you are attractive. To other people. Probably. I wouldn't know, 'cause I don't think of you that way. So, maybe you are attractive, I don't know, but not to me. No offense.'

Something shifted in Derek's expression. He leaned towards Stiles as if about to confide a secret.

'Speaking of desires: I've often fantasised about tying you up.'

Stiles' heart lurched in his chest. He's screwing with you, he warned himself. Don't let your excitement show.

'You wanna tie me up? Hey, whatever floats your boat. No judgment here,' Stiles airily assured Derek. In fact, the opposite of judgement was going on in Stiles' mind.

'I wanna gag you,' Derek added, leaning a little closer still.

'Oh, kinky! Tell me what else you want to do to me,' Stiles begged, pretending that he was faking his enthusiasm.

'I really, really want to gag you. And then…'

'Yeah?' Stiles implored. He was actually holding his breath.

'Then I'd enjoy the ensuing silence,' Derek smugly concluded, sitting back. Stiles glared in an effort to mask his disappointment. He was such a sucker. What had he expected? This wasn't one of his dreams. They weren't going to end up making out.

'You suck,' he muttered.

'Shut up,' Derek snapped back irritably.

'Flirting: you're doing it wrong,' Lydia drily remarked from her seat at the kitchen table.

'We're not flirting!' Stiles objected. Lydia rolled her eyes as Malia and Kira entered the apartment together. Lydia nodded at the mistletoe and they obliged. Blushing slightly, they kissed each other. Derek's face darkened.

'Why is everyone always here?' he growled, startling Kira.

'I don't know,' Stiles answered, following that up with some extreme and uncalled for sarcasm. 'Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you.'

Too late Stiles realised that was just plain mean. Kira certainly seemed to think so. Malia glanced from Stiles to Derek trying to figure out the situation.

'Did something happen?' she finally inquired, apparently unable to work it out.

'I'm gonna go,' Stiles announced to the room at large.

'You do that,' Derek responded.

'Enjoy the silence,' Stiles sneered at him.

'I will,' Derek acidly replied. Lydia snorted. Stiles ignored both of them. He went outside, feeling confused and irritated. Okay, what just happened? Stiles didn't know. The stupid thing was that he couldn't even leave, because Scott was supposed to pick him up and he was probably already on his way. Stiles had barely decided to pace in order to keep warm when Derek suddenly popped up at his side, nearly giving him a heart attack.

'Oh my God,' Stiles breathed. 'Don't do that.'

He narrowed his eyes and eyed Derek.

'I thought you were going to bask in my absence. You know, the blissful…'

'Yeah, yeah. You never shut up and I'm a dick,' Derek interrupted.

'You're not. Not really. Sure, you can be, but usually you're not. I do, however, talk too much, pretty much always, probably,' Stiles agreed, rambling again. Derek threw him a look that Stiles couldn't decipher and shrugged.

'You're funny.'

'You think I'm funny?' Stiles asked.

'Sometimes,' Derek admitted.

'Are you sure you want to pay me an actual, real compliment? There's still time to take it back.'

'Savour it.'

'Oh, believe me: I will,' Stiles stressed. Wait, I said something nice and Derek said something nice in return, he realised. Was that flirting? Were they flirting?

'You wanna come back in?' Derek proposed.

'Scott will be here any minute,' Stiles told him.

'I'll wait with you,' Derek offered. It was the sort of offer you couldn't refuse. Not because, if you did, a severed horse head would wind up in your bed. No, because Derek was smiling. And for a second there, Stiles was completely in favour of unseasonal random kissing.


	3. Curtain!

**Random kissing shouldn't be a seasonal thing**

 **Chapter 3: Curtain!**

It was mid-February when the mistletoe came into play again. By then, it had slipped Stiles' mind. All through December, that pesky twig had been on his mind. He had considered arranging a "chance" encounter with Derek under the mistletoe. The problem was that he didn't dare. Instead of doing something, he'd simply kept hoping that it would happen naturally, which it didn't, _of course_. Because life hated him.

Stiles paused in the doorway of Derek's apartment. The mistletoe was the farthest thing from his mind. He was gauging the mood of the place – was Derek cranky today? do one-legged ducks swim in circles? – before deciding whether it was safe to enter. That was the moment that Scott, whose timing was usually pretty decent, appeared next to him.

'Hi guys,' Scott said. Derek, looking irritated, mumbled something back. Lydia glanced up from the book she was annotating and gestured at the mistletoe. Stiles face-palmed. Honestly, he'd forgotten all about it. Because it was February dammit and other Christmas-related plants had died a sad, silent death a long time ago. As they should have.

Stiles made eye contact with Scott, who shrugged slightly. Though completely unbound by holiday tradition, Stiles decided to humour Lydia. The poor girl must have been starved for entertainment, because she looked like she was about to start chanting, 'Kiss, kiss, kiss.'

'Finally!' Stiles exclaimed, faking an excitement he didn't feel. He then proceeded to suck face pretty enthusiastically with a mellow and accommodating Scott for a while. Scott tasted of peanut butter, which was an acquired taste at the best of times and – when locking lips with your best friend – it was quite possibly the grossest flavour ever.

When they unclasped, Derek brusquely brushed past them and stomped out of the apartment.

'Someone's jealous,' Lydia remarked. Stiles checked to see whether Scott knew what she was talking about. Scott clearly didn't have a clue.

'Uh, what?' Stiles eloquently inquired. Lydia fixed him with a look that could have cut glass.

'He likes you.'

'Oh, yeah, he likes me so much that he's always threatening to kill me,' Stiles scoffed. Lydia, in an amazing feat of self-restraint, refrained from rolling her eyes.

'That's just his excuse to get close to you, get up in your face, touch you, stare at you for inappropriate periods of time, etc.,' she summed up, making it sound obvious. Stiles, reeling, considered this wholly new perspective.

'He does… do that. _A_ _lot_ ,' he eventually admitted. 'So, according to you, when Derek says something like, 'I'm going to rip your throat out with my teeth' that's his demented way of saying 'Hey, I like you'?'

Lydia nodded sagely. Stunned, Stiles stared at her and, after very little thought, bolted for the door.

'Derek! Derek! Wait!'

Stiles ran outside. He probably would have run straight into oncoming traffic if Derek hadn't been there to stop him.

'What? What do you want?'

Catching his breath, Stiles thought of a response. _You_ , while true, seemed a little too direct. But maybe direct was exactly the way to go? After all, if Derek liked him and he liked Derek then why the hell weren't they making out right now?

'I'm going to kiss you, okay?' Stiles announced. Derek took the news like a champ.

'There's no mistletoe here,' he pointed out.

'Still going to, though. If that's okay,' Stiles carefully made sure. Derek nodded and leaned forward. Stiles did the same. They ended up against the side of the building; kissing as if their lives depended on it. Stiles buried his fingers in Derek's hair. Derek pushed his hands underneath Stiles' shirt. They clung to each other, preparing to end the kiss a dozen times only to discover that: no, they didn't want to be apart.

Every time Stiles thought that this was really the last kiss for now so he'd better enjoy it, he could almost hear his entire being protesting. _Here,_ it said, _one more for the road and, here, let me give you another one for the money and two for the show and three to get ready, because I'm not ready to stop touching and tasting you just yet. Maybe not ever._

They would have to not-kiss eventually. Rationally, Stiles knew this. He would have to sleep and eat and do other fairly essential stuff, but right now their bodies were fitting so nicely together and Derek was a spectacular kisser and wow. Just wow. Miraculously, their mouths managed to separate for a moment. Stubbornly, Stiles held onto the back of Derek's neck and kissed him again.

Their second kiss lasted even longer than the first. It was softer; consisting of a series of slowly deepening pecks and Derek's thumbs gently stroking the skin of Stiles' stomach. Stiles didn't know what to do except surrender completely. He sighed. Derek reacted by pulling him closer at the waist. Oh, that felt… Like they needed a bed to finish this properly. They started the process of wrapping up the kiss and, again, they struggled to let go of each other. They barely succeeded.

'So, you like me?' Stiles finally asked, tenderly touching his lips with his fingertips. Derek barked out a laugh.

'I more than like you.'

'You wanna gut me like a pig and dump my body in the woods?' Stiles reverse-deciphered. Derek shot him a disturbed look.

' _What?'_

'Just translating that into Derek-speak,' Stiles explained, smiling. Derek shook his head.

'You're so weird.'

'Uh huh. Let's go back inside and make Scott and Lydia leave,' Stiles suggested. Derek immediately made for the apartment. Stiles eagerly followed and consequently bumped into a suddenly standing still Derek. The werewolf turned around and, before Stiles knew what was happening, they were in the middle of their third kiss.

'What was that for?' he stammered afterwards. His heart was beating overtime and he felt tingly all over.

'Just because,' Derek replied. He grinned and grabbed Stiles' hand. Seriously, Stiles thought, random kissing is the best.

The end.


End file.
